A Stay at Home Mom

It is with happiness, gratitude, and sadness that I am writing this post. For a little over 6 years I have worked at an agency where I have been able to work one-on-one with children who have behavioral problems. There were ups and downs in this job, but it has definitely been a blessing in my life and I have learned so much while working there. In some ways, I feel like I grew up while working there. I was fresh out of college when I started. Made friends with co-workers. Overcame my naivety to alternative lifestyles. Learned great skills that Greyson might not appreciate when he gets a little older. I bought my first car with the money I saved from working there. Met Adam and got married and most recently was pregnant and had a baby. My job has seen me through a lot of things and been a blessing to help financially support us.

My employer was very understanding and allowed me the opportunity to decide while on maternity leave what I wanted to do with work after having the baby. She said, "You've never been a mom before, I don't expect you to know right now what you want to do." I probably drove Adam crazy with my problem solving and decision making over the past couple of months and especially the last couple of weeks when they needed my decision. I went back and forth every day on what I had decided to do. I told my boss that I would work with two children which was only 8 hours a week. I know right, 8 hours hardly seems like anything at all until I was holding Greyson last week after we had just experienced a perfect day together. We were cuddling together and I was overcome with the love I have for him and I knew 8 hours is too much. I am so grateful for this opportunity to be a mother. I see how much he has grown in just 6 weeks and I don't want to miss a moment. I am grateful for a husband who is allowing me to stay home with Greyson and who desires to be the provider for our family.

The sadness comes though when I cleaned out my cubicle at the office and turned in my key on Friday. My job has been where the main part of my time and focus were spent in the past 6 years. At times it felt like everything else revolved around my work schedule and now it is gone. I have had to readjust to a new schedule. Now my life revolves around the most adorable little boy and I couldn't be happier. Yes we have late nights and early mornings, dirty diapers, and fussy periods, but I wouldn't ever go back to pre-Greyson. I will miss the children I had on my caseload and I will definitely miss my co-workers, but my focus has changed and Greyson needs me. It's always hard to close a chapter that we have been comfortable in, but it's time for me to move on to the next one and learn what the Lord has in store for me as a stay at home mom.